COUPLES – Eighty five percent of the couples we’ve tested were in what we refer to as an XY Relationship. One widow who had been married for 49 years, admitted that if she had known about XY Theory before marriage and applied the simple principles, she would have saved herself about 48 years of marital conflict. XY Theory is about relationship needs and XY ConneXion is about the means that we use to get those needs met. Using new relationship science, we can predict problems in a relationship long before they occur and we can tell couples what they need to do specifically, to avoid relationship ending conflict. Basically, we can now help couples identify the “blind spots” in their relationships.

     We discovered that a couple’s difference in preferred interaction style was the primary hindrance to bonding and resolving conflict. We teach that it’s not one person’s fault, but their interactional differences that cause conflict in the relationship. Through our Basic XY ConneXion and Relationship Tune Up programs, couples learn how to meet their partner’s needs by first understanding what their own needs are in the relationship. Once this is understood, couples can focus on mastering those needs to facilitate the hormone Oxytocin that produces bonding in the relationship.

     This focus is not about changing your core being, but simply making the minor adjustments needed for maintaining a strong and harmonious relationship. Remember when you first dated? Well, you fell in love, not with the person you’re now with relationally, but with their fun loving, romantic, caring representative in a social setting where you were happily stuck in “play” mode. This was a Social ConneXion. Hormones helped you to fall for this person, but without the serious considerations of work and family matters. We can help you rediscover this person and reset your relationship to increase your satisfaction and enjoyment. You can begin today to learn exactly what you and your partner need, to enjoy the married life you deserve.